First Prize
summer rain —
turning the car toward
the rainbow
Mirela Brăilean
In cinematic terms this is a “one-shot” haiku, presenting a clear picture seamlessly while evoking unnamed feelings. At a technical level we could debate whether the dash is needed at all. To dispense with it might introduce a fleeting ambiguity for some readers, with the summer rain itself being seen as an agent or force turning the car. This quite appeals to me, as a sort of bonus. But it could also distract –– and thus detract –– from the main sense of the piece. Therefore I am inclined to leave well alone. Something else to notice is how the denouement (an understated one) is held back until the final word. This can be an over-showy tactic in haiku and senryu both, but works perfectly here. In short, brava!
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