sâmbătă, 27 februarie 2016

The Shiki Monthly Kukai February 2016

Kigo Theme: An OUTING
boat ride –
out of the blue I let her
touch a cloud
Ana Drobot
Bucharest, Romania
(2,1,5) = 13 pts
**I love the movement of the river and the clouds in this one, and that it’s either a parent and a child, or a young romantic love. It’s open to the reader to fill in the gaps in the way they would like to, which is a great feature of many haiku.
**Wow! How key that simple word “let” is in this haiku, signifying a young girl on this boat ride with her parent who allows her to lean over the boat to touch a cloud reflected in the water. This poem says so much about being a parent with a young child, making those allowances, and it even suggests what will come in the future as the child ages, how the parent will have to “let” go. So tender and emotional!
all around the secular oak -
great-grandfather's birthday
Lavana Kray
(0,1,2) = 4 pts
hill outing –
a toddler counting
the sparrows
(0,0,3) = 3 pts
**I like lines 2-3 very much, but line 1 doesn't work hard enough.
shaky deep blue line
tracing the mid-term field trip
on the map…
Cristian Mocanu
 ^^Author’s note: This month’s topic struck a chord: in childhood I was told to stay away from many school actions, due to disability
Free Format Theme: SLEEPLESS NIGHT
the one...
waking me up 
his absence
Ana Drobot
Bucharest, Romania
(0,4,6) = 14 pts
**This piece barely gets one of my votes notwithstanding the odd inclusion of a cutting marker at the end of line 1.
stormy night -
refreshing her to do list in life
after mammogram
Lavana kray
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
sleepless night
the icicles dripping
like a broken tap
(0,1,3) = 5 pts
deadline approaching:
identical coffee mugs
their Valentine’s gifts
Cristian Mocanu
(0,1,0) = 2 pts
Sleepless night -
counting the stars
of Pleiades
Eyes wide open
dreaming of the moon –
white night
Virginia Popescu 

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